MANAGING YOUR EMOTIONS: PASTOR KINGSLEY OKONKWO – THE RCCG YAYA “THE AMERICAS” CONTINENTAL CONVENTION, 14TH JUNE, 2023.
THE RCCG YAYA “THE AMERICAS” CONTINENTAL CONVENTION 2023 (YOUNG ADULTS CONFERENCE)
THEME: EMMANUEL
MINISTERING (DAY 1): PASTOR KINGSLEY OKONKWO (FOUNDER AND LEAD PASTOR, DAVID CHRISTIAN CENTRE (DCC) LAGOS STATE NIGERIA AND TV HOST OF “LOVE, DATING AND MARRIAGE” (LDM) PROGRAM)
TOPIC: MANAGING YOUŔ EMOTIONS
DATE: 14TH JUNE, 2023
Praise the Lord – Hallelujah!
Before we start, we want to honour our Parents in the Lord – Daddy GO and Mummy GO. Please, help me appreciate them.
Mummy and Daddy; it’s such an honour to be standing here. And I want to Thank You for the Inspiration, the Example, and the Covering you have given, not just to this Assembly but to the Body of Christ Nationwide and Worldwide – Thank you sir and Thank you ma.
I also want to appreciate Pastor and Pastor (Mrs) James Fadel – Thank you sir, Thank you ma; for hosting all of us.
Can we in one (1) Minute lift our hands and give thanks to the Lord.
OPENING PRAYER
Father, we Thank You for such a Great Convention – The RCCG “THE AMERICAS” Continental Convention 2023.
All the Words and Worship that we have received so far, they will make a Positive Impact in our lives in Jesus Mighty Name – Amen!
Please take your seat!
I have a very short Time tonight but I will try to lay a Foundation with this Session.
Help me tell your Neighbour or tell yourself as you are reading this now on the Label of DMC – “Manage Your Emotions!”
One thing that I have discovered is that Life is about how well you can Manage your Emotions!
Many People think maybe their Problem(s) is the Government or Neighbour or Spouse but I want to tell you that the first battle is between you and your Emotions!
And I feel impressed in my Heart to start from here today because we are dealing with the most Emotionally-Awared Generation that we have ever had!
In my own time, you don’t have any Permission to be Emotional – Your Parents don’t give you such Luxuries and you do what you have to do inspite of how you feel.
You are not Permitted to have Mental Health issues – Those Languages you don’t know it in our time.
When we were Young, our Parents never hugged us – Why will your father hug you and for what?
So, we are not Emotionally-Awared as the Present Generation.
We are dealing with the most Emotionally-Awared Generation that we have ever dealth with.
At the same time, we are dealing with the Most Emotionally-Dominated Generation that we have also ever met!
This is why you hear words like:
- I don’t love my Husband/Wife anymore.
- I don’t like Church anymore.
You hear more People being Dominated by how they feel.
Your first and major battle is in managing your Emotions!
What is Emotion in Simple Terms?
I don’t want to boil you down and so I’m Summarising the whole Message.
In Simple Terms, Emotion simply means: “A Strong Feeling”.
And there are two (2) Approaches we give Emotions as Human Beings most times:
- The first Approach is – Don’t Pay attention to your Emotions at all.
- The Second Approach is that – Always Obey your Emotions.
They are two Extremes – The Right Thing is to recognise and manage your Emotions!
Emotions are not Good or Bad – They just have to be Managed!
- God even have Emotions.
We saw throughout in the Bible:
- They talked about God being Pleased or being Angry.
- In the Bible, we see where it talked about the wrath of God.
- We see where the Bible says: God Laugh.
He that sits on the Throne Laughs!
… So, God Himself has Emotions!
- We see Jesus Christ displaying Emotions.
- There were times Jesus Christ get angry and flog People in the Temple.
He used a Cord on People.
- There are times that He wept for Lazarus when he died.
… So God has Emotions, Jesus Christ has Emotions.
- And Guess what? You too have Emotions.
And your Success in Life, your Success as a Christian, your Success as a Husband/Wife is largely tied to how well you can manage your Emotions!
We are in this Great Convention – The Theme is Emmanuel, which means “God is With Us”.
Guess what? If you don’t know how to manage your Emotions, you will think that God is with you only when you feel He is with you.
God is with us – Whether you feel it or not. He said that I will never leave you nor forsake you!
So, Managing your Emotions is Crucial!
If they take all the money in this world and give everybody one dollar ($1); in a few Months, some People will be rich while some People will be Poor.
And do you know what will determine those that will be Rich or Poor? – It is your Ability to manage your Emotions.
What is the difference between Jacob and Esau?
One could not manage the “Temporary Hunger” and so he sold his Birthright.
Do you know what they call Esau in the Book of Hebrews? – They call him a “Fornicator or Profane” Person like Esau.
I said: When did Esau Fornicate?
DMC NOTES: Hebrews 12:16 is the Bible Text under Reference – Lest there be any Fornicator, or Profane Person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his Birthright.
Because the Bible calls Fornication – To lack the Ability to manage your Emotions.
You are selling something of “Value” to collect something of “No Value”.
So, let me let you into it:
The first thing I need you to Understand is that – “You need to treat your Emotions.
- Your Emotions are Real but they are not always True!
If you don’t understand this; you will think that anytime you feel in a certain way, you will think that it is the Truth.
- There are times you don’t feel like you Love your Husband/Wife but that is not the Truth.
- There are times you don’t feel like going to Church but that is not the Truth.
- There are times that you say that I regret marrying this Person but that is not the Truth.
- Your Emotions are Real but they are “Not You”.
- There are many People from time to time; they will say things like: I am a Failure.
- I have even heard Someone say: I am a Fool as there is Nothing in this my Head.
Just because that you feel like a Failure, doesn’t mean that you are a Failure – Failure is an Event and it is not a Person!
All Great People has failed before and they have come back to Succeed after that!
I Pray for anyone here or reading now on the Label of DMC; going through a Season of Failure. After this Convention (The RCCG “The Americas Continental Convention 2023); that Failure will be turned to Success – Amen!
- There are some People here who say: I am a Sinner.
If you are a Born Again Christian; even if you have fallen back. In this Great Convention, you are being restored back to that God has given you – Amen!
So, stop Calling yourself what God didn’t call you – You are not a Failure. You might feel like a Failure but that is not you!
- Your Emotions are Real but they are not Final – They can Change!
Just because you feel a certain way now doesn’t mean that you will always feel like that tomorrow!
See, it is important you understand these things so that you don’t make Permanent Decisions based on Temporary Feelings!
I have seen People gone to Sign in Registry because of “Temporary Feelings” – This is why many Marriages don’t Last.
The Love just last around six (6) Months, after that, the People that say that I can’t live without you, they turn it to I can’t live with you.
If there is Somebody here under the Sound of my Voice or reading now on the Label of DMC and you are considering Divorcing your Partner and the reason you are giving us that I don’t Love them anymore – That Emotion is Real but it is not Final!
How you feel about your Partners can Change – And by the Grace of God, it will Change (Amen).
Elijah got to a Stage in his Life – He said that he wanted to Retire.
I don’t know if you know the Man “Elijah”?
Elijah is one of the Greatest Prophet we have ever seen.
He is the only one that I can remember that called down Fire – Not “Holy Ghost Fire” but “Real Fire” that Fire Service People need to appear.
… He (Elijah) called down Fire without Matches – Great Prophet!
But he has a Season of his Life that he felt like “Giving Up” – His Feelings were Real but it didn’t have to be the Final.
What Elijah needed was Rest and not Retirement!
- Your Feelings are Real but they don’t have to Control you!
Just because you feel a certain way doesn’t mean that you have to Submit yourselves to how you feel – If you can Master this one, you will make a lot of Progress in Life!
Those that Succeed and Win in Life have mastered the act of doing things they don’t feel like doing.
I have gone to School for a few years – I’m sorry to say; I never felt like writing Exams.
The day I will build my own School, it will be the only School that will have no Exams – Just resume and when you are tired, you go home and we will Promote you. Just that Nobody will recognise that School.
Just because you feel a certain way doesn’t mean that you have to yield yourself!
Your Ability to manage how you feel is where the Success of your Life lies!
- There are many days that you won’t feel like Praying but you have to Pray!
- There are many says you won’t feel like going to Church, but you just go!
- There are many times you won’t feel like being Peaceful and Polite but you just have to.
All the Places in the Scriptures that God talks about Emotions, He never said that they are Supposed to Control us – He said that we are Supposed to Control it.
We don’t serve God “By Emotions” but we serve God “With Emotions”.
They asked Jesus Christ – What is the Greatest Commandment?
He says that you will love the Lord with all your Heart, with all your Soul and with all your Mind.
He says that you can serve God “With your Emotions” and not “By your Emotions” because someday, you won’t feel like.
I. Moses could not manage “Anger” and he lost the Promised Land.
II. Samson could not manage “Lust”, he lost the Promised Land.
I Pray for everyone under the Sound of my Voice or reading now on the Label of DMC – You will not miss your Promised Land in the Name of Jesus Christ (Amen).
HOW DO WE MANAGE YOUR EMOTIONS?
Now that we have realised that our Emotions are Real but you need to understand that how you feel must not Dominate you!
I. I feel like insulting my husband – It is a Good Legitimate Feelings but just don’t act on it.
II. I feel like giving you a “Dirty Slap” – We recognise your Feelings sir but just don’t act on it sir.
The way God created Emotions – Emotions are not meant to give us Directions! Emotions are meant to be directed by us.
Emotions is like Fuel and not the Steering!
When you put fuel into a car, it is not the fuel that tells you where to go; but the fuel makes you go to where you want to go.
If I put fuel in my car now and I want to hit this Wall; the fuel won’t tell me not to hit the Wall – It is the Steering that Controls the car and not the fuel.
Emotions is like fuel – It helps us to do what God has called you to do!
HOW DO YOU MANAGE YOUR EMOTIONS?
- By Living a Life of Principles.
Your Emotions don’t make Good Decisions on their own and your Emotions are not wired to lead you!
So, you live your Life by Principles than by Feelings!
People that have made “Big Mistakes” in Life – If you go and check them; they made the Decision(s) based on how they felt at the time!
I have seen People take their bags and leave their Marital Homes; only for weeks later they now regret it long after the Feelings had gone and the Reality still there.
For Instance:
I. If you are a Business Man, live your Life by Princioles and not how you feel.
You see one New Business, one New Land, one New House; you like it and just Sign that Day.
No, let the Lawyer look at it – You don’t just buy something because Someone said that it is Good. There are Principles to go ahead to do it.
II. Irrespective of how you Love the Person you want to marry; do Counselling – In the Multitude of Counsellors, there is Safety.
Many Youths that want to marry feel their Love is enough.
They don’t realised that even Science has found out that when you are in Love, the Part of your Brain that is responsible for being in Love is the same Part, that is responsible for making Sound Decisions!
So, whenever Somebody is in Love, they are incapable of making any “Reasonable Decision” – They can’t see any bad thing about the Person that they want to marry!
So, inspite of how much in Love you are – Because one of the common things that I deal with, is People that tell me that they wanted to Divorce or People that says that it is impossible to know who will break your Heart or not.
I say: It is very Possible if you follow the Principles!
I give People about seven (7) Check Points (Though I will just mention few today) – That if you follow these Check Points, it is hard for Somebody to deceive you:
I. One of them is Counselling.
Submit yourself to the Authority of your Pastor and let them Counsel you – In the Multitude of Counselling, there is Safety.
II. Another Check Point is the Check Point of Time.
Don’t meet on Monday and marry on Wednesday!
Time unveils Deceits – Nobody can act for a very long Time!
If you allow Time to Check; you will see things that you didn’t see at the Beginning!
The Bible says that there is a Time for everything!
Don’t live on the Express – Speed kills!
- Another way to manage Emotiins is called “PAUSE”.
Your Emotions hates delay – When you delay it, the “Real Fake Emotions” will separate out!
Here you noticed that when Somebody sends you a Message:
- If you reply immediately, you will say wrong things.
- If however you Pause – Even if for just some few Minutes; your Mind will be in a Position to reply the Message in the “Best Way”.
And the Bible talks about the Power of Pause – The Bible says: Be Quick to hear, and slow to speak, slow to wrath! (DMC NOTES: James 1:19).
Even Jesus Christ, when they brought the woman caught in Adultery to him; He took His time as He didn’t answer immediately – He first wrote on the floor.
They wanted to trap Him – She is caught in Adultery. The Law says: Stone her. You are the Messaiah, do you want to release her?
I. If He says: Stone her – They will say that You are a Wicked Man. We thought that You say that You came to save People.
II. If He says: Leave her – They will say that You are an Immoral Pastor and You are not an Holiness Preacher.
He took time to Pause for God to give Him Wisdom!
The Bible says in Proverbs that it is only a Foolish Man that says all that is in his Head all at once. It says that a Wise Man keep some till later.
DMC NOTES: Above Quote is found in Proverbs 29:11 – A Fool uttereth all his Mind; but a Wise Man keepeth it in till afterwards.
- Another Way to manage Emotions is to be Protective of what you hear.
Because we are in the Social Media Age; Information flies very easily in these times we live in.
Please, be Extra-careful of what you hear – Protect your “Eye Gate” and your “Ear Gate”.
It is not every News you have to Watch; it is not everything that they circulate that you must Watch and it is not every Information that you must listen to!
Look, sometimes even what they want to tell you is about you – Don’t listen to it.
It is only when you are Young that you don’t realised that words affect you – No matter who you are, what you hear will affect you!
You are created to be Influenced by what you hear!
The Bible says: Faith cometh by what? – Hearing.
The Bible says: Take heeds to what you hear.
No matter how Good and Godly you are; what you hear will affect you!
So, don’t listen to Gossips, as it is not your business – As it will affect how you will see that Brother/Sister for the rest of your Life.
Don’t even listen to what they say about you – There is a reason they didn’t say it in your Presence!
Don’t turn to “FBI” – And you are investigating who said what?
By the time you are done with your Investigation; they have taken away your Motivation!
DMC NOTES: The “FBI” stands for Federal Bureau of Investigation.
“Federal” refers to the National Government of the United States.
“Bureau” is another word for Department or Division of Government.
“Investigation” is what we do —Gathering facts and evidence to solve and Prevent Crimes.
The Federal Bureau of Investigation is the Domestic Intelligence and Security Service of the United States and its Principal Federal Law Enforcement Agency.
It was founded on the 26th of July 1908; by Charles Joseph Bonaparte and Headquartered at Washington, D.C., United States.
You see, what you don’t hear, can’t affect you – It is only what you hear that will affect you!
- Lastly on how to manage your Emotions is by building your Perspectives.
Many times, you get angry “Too Quickly” because you don’t understand People or you don’t understand things.
When you understand things better; you will be more Forgiving and Tolerance!
The reason why you are “Too Angry” – Everybody annoys you, offends you, upsetting you; is because you are not Patient enough to understand People!
People are going through things – Nobody is treating you bad because they want to treat you bad. People are facing issues in their own lives!
The day you realised that People are not treating you on how you treat them and they are treating you based on what they go through; then you will understand that it is not about you!
If Somebody is angry with his Life, he will be angry with you no matter how nice you are to them – They have Problems beyond you!
The thing that is irritating you; because you don’t know where that Person is coming from. If you know what they have been through, you will be More Tolerant of them!
I hope you have learnt how to manage your Emotions today!
Praise the Lord – Hallelujah!
CLOSING PRAYER
Father, I Thank You that we will learn how to Control your Emotions.
We understand that our Emotions are Real but they are not meant to Control us.
And as Your Words says that we should set our Affections on Things above.
Lord from today, we will set our Affections on Things that concerns the Kingdom and we will be able to Control any Negative Emotions around us.
In Jesus Mighty Name we have Prayed – Amen!
Common on, let’s give the Lord a Big Hand!!!
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