EPISODE 3: THINGS YOU MUST KNOW BEFORE MARRIAGE

Counselling Session With Dr Timi Oyebode At Bethel Institute of Biblical Research Singles Summit, Gbongan,Osun State, Nigeria

1. There is no HEAVEN MADE SPOUSE: I think we all know that!

There is no one that is made for me from Heaven because I have miss him, I have missed forever – It’s a LIE. Nothing like that, okay?

2. You should have HEALTH PROFILE done: I don’t know how much of emphasis that is made in this side. But over there (Abroad) it’s a big deal.

Anybody you want to marry, you need to know your Genotype.

I still told someone last week to go and do his Genotype and give me a feedback.

You need to know your Genotype: AS and AS should not marry themselves. AS and SS should not marry.

… So, let’s not over FAITH that part! Go and know it; if you know it and now decide to still marry yourselves;

Sebi, it’s with full knowledge; okay? So, know your Health Profile.

3. Know the FINANCIAL CAPACITY of that person, especially the DEBTS that person has. – All the debts that person owes.

You need to know because when you are married, you will inherit it together.

You need to know how he handles money before: Is this person always asking for money? Always demanding for everything? Because the same approach, you will see after.

A Marital case am handling right now; their own issue was that the husband said he had gone to meet her (when they were courting) that she should lend him some money. So the woman had loaned him fifty thousand Naira (N50,000).

And the wife said, after some months, she had an emergency at home – her younger brother needed to pay some money. And so she turned to her Fiance who borrowed money from her (it was borrow you said, not that I should give you!)

So she had turned to the Fiancée, please the money I lend you, please can you return it?

Do you know that man didn’t forget? That is what the man is using against her in the marriage right now.

… But you gave me money, you collected it back. That was then!

The attitude of the person to money is important. You need to know, Okay?

4. And of course, you need to know the PARENTAL STYLE the person has:

How does this person behave to children? Is this person a lenient person? Is this person a friendly person?

You need to know the Personal Dreams and Accomplishments this Person has.

Is he somebody who desire to become a Professor? And you, you just want to be a Pastor. And you are saying, NO, you have to submit.

You need to know first; and if you can fit in. Because if you can’t fit that person’s desire, you will become a witch or a wizard (if he’s a man). Okay?

So what are we saying?

Of course, you must have INNER WITNESS: There should be something calling to the Deep within you and that person, to know that : this is my spouse; this is somebody I can marry. Or this is someone I shouldn’t even go near to!

And of course (this is the last thing I have here) the last thing for that is KNOW THE BIRTH ORDER of that person;

Birth Order means, what is the position of that person’s birth.

Is the person the first born, a second born or the third born?

Birth Order has a lot to do with our behaviours: the firstborn is Programmed to behave in a very responsible way.

The last child is Programmed to behave in a? You understand (Laugher)!

And now you are the firstborn, you are going to marry a last born. You should know already!

But some of us act as if it doesn’t matter – It does matters!

Or you are the firstborn and you are going to marry an ONLY child.

The way an Only child sees things is different: later you will come with your own brothers and and sisters. And they will say they need this.

The Only child, he has never been responsible for anybody, apart from himself.

Do you understand where all these challenges are?

So, you need to PAY ATTENTION TO ALL OF THAT.

5. And finally, if you had had broken relationship before; please, YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT.

Because if you don’t deal with it, it will affect your Perception of the New Relationship you want to go into.

You will start using the past woman that jilted you, or the past man that jilted you. You start comparing him – to use as a parameter for the next choice you want to make.

… NO! Deal with your pain.

If that person left you, it was for your Good; because if you had married that person, that Person would still leave you, Okay?

So please, deal with your pain, leave it for God.

Extracts from the Counselling Session With Dr Timi Oyebode @ The Bethel International School, Gbongan Osun State Nigeria.

… You can have Dr Timi in your location – Just talk to us!