THE ROLE MODEL FATHER – TOLU ALABIS LIFE AND RELATIONSHIP REALITIES WITH REV. SAM ADEYEMI – June 22nd 2020

WELCOME COMMENTS FROM TOLU ALABI

Hello today, this is Father’s Day Special and I will like to say “Happy Father’s Day” everyone out there.

And to the viewers that are joining us, I want to say “Happy Father’s Day” to you.

The Bible says: This is the day that the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in It.

I am so excited about today. I am super excited about today.

Father’s Day is a very Special Day for so many People, like they always say about girls particularly love their fathers.

I didnt have the privilege of having a Biological Father and it means a lot to me.

I remembered when I was growing up, I will always imagine that my father will come. I always feel like middle School but in Nigeria it is actually a Secondary School.

And then we have a very big school and the gate is really far from classes.

I will always stand looking at the gate and always be expecting that one day my father will come and he will see me from afar, running towards me and I running towards him.

He will lift me up and he will carry me. He will carry me and lift me up. I was always hoping for that.

I spend five (5) years in Secondary School but that never happened.

But the beautiful part is I had met with Jesus and He was just a father that i have always wanted.

And He is a wonderful Father to me till today.

I have got another father in the house and i am so excited.

I want to thank you for all the People that have joined right now – It is going to be wonderful right today.

Hello viewers out there you are welcome to Relationship Realities with Tolu Alabi.

Today on Life and Relationship Realities; we have a very important Guest – He is very important to me because he is my Pastor, he is my Mentor for several years. He is the husband of a beautiful woman of God. He is a committed father with children and he is the Senior Pastor of Daystar Christian Centre in Oregun, Lagos State, Nigeria.

He is also the president of Sam Adeyemi Ministry.

Let me say that Daystar is a Church that raise “Role Models” – Like they are very good, the Church is very good.

That is my home Church.

He is very good at raising “Role Models”, Leaders and off course Rev. Sam Adeyemi has just add to his name a “Doctorate Degree in Leadership”.

I met this wonderful man of God several years ago.

He has impacted my life, He has impacted my Ministry.

And I love the humility about him. I love the simplicity about him. I love the fact that he is one of the leaders that will open up himself for young people to enjoy the same kind of success.

Viewers help me welcome my Mentor, my Pastor – Rev (Dr) Sam Adeyemi.

You are welcome sir.

TOLU ALABI’S QUESTION (1)

Who is a “Role Model father”? – What are his responsibilities towards his children? How do we recognize a “Role Model father”?

Please explain that to us sir.

REV. SAM ADEYEMI’S RESPONSE (1)

Thank you very much for having me on the Program.

I like to wish all father’s, a happy Father’s Day.

The Father’s Role is inherently by design a role modelling one.

In the sense that the basic objective in Parenting is grooming human beings that will add value to our world, that will make our world a better place.

It means that a Father should be someone that has Vision, that sees the Possibility of the world becoming a better Place, that is already contributing to making it a better Place and that is grooming People that will make it a better Place.

Two basic requirements:

1. Character
2. Competence

On the Character side, a father is got to have sound vibes.

Not just teach the children but lead them in the Principle of love because that is what Jesus Christ said.

If you sum up everything, it is in the word LOVE.

A “Role Model Father” – I meant to be a loving father.

God is the “Ultimate Father” and what we do we know about him? – Love.

So the Bible tells us that God is Love. He is love Personified.

A “Role Model Father” is going to be a “Loving Person”, Caring Person, and a Teacher, an Instructor in the ways of God and in the values of God.

Ultimately I will tell you one thing, the Modelling is the big Part of it and of course the other Part is the Competence part.

Which means that while we have “Good Character” to make the world a better Place, you have got to have skills.

I believed that a Father should have skills.

Expertise is one Particular area for adding value and for Solving Problem.

Once we are concious of that fact, Modelling that to our children, then we are deliberate in cultivating the same Values and in guiding them in making decisions now as they make progress through life.

TOLU ALABI’S RESPONSE TO QUESTION 1 ANSWERED (BY REV. SAM ADEYEMI)

That was really amazing about what a “Role Model Father” is.

Love between husband and wife and children is very important. That was really Powerful sir.

Listen to the audio here: The Role Model Father – Tolu Alabis Life And Relationship Realities With Rev. Sam Adeyemi

TOLU ALABI’S QUESTION (2)

How important is it for husband and wife to work together to raise Godly and responsible children in being a Role Model, connect with father, mother loving each other in a family?

How can they work together to build responsible children in their society and in the Body of Christ?

REV. SAM ADEYEMI RESPONSE (2)

It is important for the father and the mother to work together in raising children and it is team work.

In the first Place, they say opposite attract.

Of course I mean what the father has the mother doesn’t have and what the mother has, the father doesn’t have – You bring the strength together in raising the children.
@sam_adeyemi
@pastortolualabi

#TheRoleModelFather

The father’s Logic comes in the mother’s Intuition, comes in both side have their strength.

I actually want to appeal to Parents that one major reason why we had to overcome the challenges of Marriage is because of those children we are Grooming.

Two People coming together, raised from two different background; Two People from two different genders with two cultural background and sometimes different Social Classes.

This is a mix that makes the marriage relationship challenging.

When we look at the overall Vision, it is worth the effort absolutely, so we should do everything Possible.

You just got to be someone that forgives on a daily basis, someone that can love on a daily basis.

And once the Parent love each other, that is the Major Part of it and then together will love the children and together will teach them, will discipline together.

… It is Team Work.

When one Person is missing – It is one sided, it has its own huge effect.

TOLU ALABI’S RESPONSE TO QUESTION 2 ANSWERED (BY REV. SAM ADEYEMI)

… So team work – It is really amazing that team work between the father and the mother….*

May God help all couples to always have team work. That was amazing sir.

TOLU ALABI’S QUESTION (3)

Some father’s are absent in the life of their children and some fathers are abusive to their children.

Some are absent – It could be for so many reasons but some are also abusive to their children.

They are abusive emotionally, they are abusive Physically, they are abusive Psychologically to their children.

What can you say to such father and what can you also say to such “Traumatized Children” that are going through such abuse from their fathers?

REV. SAM ADEYEMI RESPONSE (3)

If a father has had a turbulence upbringing the amazing thing that happens usually, they are angry maybe with the Parents that was abusive or whoever the authority figure was especially the Parent.

And then they grow up with that anger and don’t realise that it has fallen as a seed in their own heart and bears fruit.

So when they find themselves in this scenario by default sincerely speaking what was done to them in childhood then come out, and they do exactly the same thing.

It is a Puzzling thing to many People like many men that saw their father abuse their mother and were very angry with their fathers.

They don’t realised when it is that they begin to abuse their own wives.

The way to break that cycle is Forgiveness. The way to break the cycle is to forgive whoever it was that abused us.

I am going to say that to the father’s because even you may not like what it is you are doing – Don’t continue the cycle, please break it.

You don’t want to do this to your kids because we father’s actually leave legacies.

That is one of the basic thing fathers do – You leave a legacy, you think generation ahead.

There are certain things you tell yourself must stop here.

When God calls you like He called Abraham and blessed you, you start a New Generation, then you lay a New Foundation.

So you say these things stop here.

And if you have been abusing your own children already it is time for you to ask them for forgiveness – Be humble enough.

Remember what you are doing this is to break a Cycle and for the children.

What I said earlier also applies – Forgive, so that you destroy that cycle and you don’t let that thing come into your own adulthood and hurt you.

TOLU ALABI’S RESPONSE TO QUESTION 3 ANSWERED (BY REV. SAM ADEYEMI)

Thank you so much sir. That was really Powerful. Don’t continue the Cycle. That is a Powerful one right there.

TOLU ALABI’S QUESTION (4)

Some father’s are hurting because of Financial Failure and other reasons.

How can those fathers bounce back from failure to attain Success to become a Role Model?

How can they bounce back, not about siting down in the failure because it is going to affect their behavior to their children?

How can such fathers bounce back? – This is Covid-19, a lot of things have happened , a lot of People have gotten into situation that they Probably didn’t bargain for because they didn’t know that things like this was going to happen.

Some father’s have businesses that are struggling to survive right now – So this is like a trying time.

So, for father’s that are head of family, father’s that are Providing for their children – Some don’t even have a job right now as we speak, but how can they bounce back so that the whole family does not suffer because of that?

REV. SAM ADEYEMI RESPONSE (4)

I will tell you that lossing the Capacity to take care of yourself and family financially; hit really hard at men.

I think because a man’s esteem is tied to his ability to take care of his family.

I want to speak to us men and to remind us that we should not Play God’s Role in our lives.

We are not our “Own Providers”; we are not our “Own Helper” – God is.

The Bible says that God is Faithful and that He will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we are able to bear..

Jesus did not Promise us a life without trial but He Promised to be with us when we go through them and He said that He is giving us Victory.

If it came, God allows it. If God allowed it we can handle it.

The most important fight is for Attitude, Mental fight, Spiritual warfare is in the Mind.

That we can take what God said, the Vision that He gave us, the Promises He gave us and use them to fight in times like these.

Let me remind you what David did in 1 Samuel 30 – When he went out with his band of soldiers.

They came back to Ziklag and the Place has been burnt down. All their wives and children and all their goods have been packed away by the Band of Invaders.

And the Bible says, David and his men wept all night.

So it is ok to grieve because they just lost something but cut it short because the Bible says in 1 Samuel 30:6 that David encouraged himself in the Lord his God.

As long as they were crying, nothing happened.

Infact the Bible says The men spoke about stoning david.

It is only bad ideas we get when you are on a frequency of sorrow and sadness.

David encouraged himself, he switched to the Positive.

How?

Just going back memory lane – The same God that helped him before; He will help him again this time.

The moment he switched to the Positive, the idea began to come – He said bring the ephod.

He Prayed, Lord should I go after them, will I recover all?

Instantly God told him: Pursue them, you will overtake them, you will recover everything.

And he did, all of them got their wives back and all their children back.

They got all the goods back with more.

So, i just want to say to you things will change for the better. And it will even be more Glorious than it was before – So be encouraged.

TOLU ALABI’S RESPONSE TO QUESTION 4 ANSWERED (BY REV. SAM ADEYEMI)

That was great, to say that fathers don’t keep crying and I will say to mother too we shouldn’t keep crying.

We should get back and have ideas on how to move forward and definitely sir, I’m sure it is not the time to blame one another like you said. It is time to stop crying, stop complaining and see how God want to lead us to get back and be better than where we started.

TOLU ALABI’S QUESTION (5)

Please can you tell us some of your Challenges and Success Story of being a Role Model Father, husband despite your work load.

I know you very well sir, you are a very busy Person. So, how have you been able to raise your own children?

What are the things you had to go through and how did you overcome?

REV. SAM ADEYEMI RESPONSE (5)

Being husband and a father, I will be honest with you; i wasn’t Prepared enough.

When you get your first child and you are experimenting; this was what happened when the children were young.

First as a husband, my first child was the fact that I was a workerholic. I was working too much and i didn’t realised that was the issue.

And it was after our honeymoon when I resumed work that i was finding it difficult to pull my myself away from the office – I was getting home late.

That was when i knew there was a Problem and I had to deal with it.

But with time, i have been able to switch my Values.

If I tell you what I do now. I get my diary for the Year – I usually buy it mid year. I buy the diary for the next year.

The first date can go into my diary are family date: All the birthdays, all the Vacations, all the kids school dates, resumption, all the breaks. – Everything in there before anything that has to do with work goes into my diary.

So, that was my Challenge.

My being a husband, being a father, i was gone every night Preaching and was coming home late like 11pm and the kids were asleep – And I was doing this Practically everyday.

And I thought something is wrong here. Something is not adding up.

I roll back to the experience with my Parent and I said that most of the days my Parent were there in the evenings – We watch TV together, crack jokes together, they told stories.

I just switched it and i tell you, i have never regretted. The work did not go down.

TOLU ALABI’S RESPONSE TO QUESTION 5 ANSWERED (BY REV. SAM ADEYEMI)

The work did not go down.

Wow! – That was Powerful. And i really have just learnt a lot right now about balancing the work with family.

I mean whether we are working, because even if we having a job, truly sir if anything happens to anybody the job is going to go on but the family is a legacy that we keep forever.

That was really Powerful. That was a “Powerful Nugget” there sir about putting the family first.

I think I got that putting the family first. That was an amazing one.

Thank you so much for your wealth of wisdom and that Nugget.

Thank you so much.

TOLU ALABI’S QUESTION (6)

The Bible says in the book of Proverbs that: A man leaves inheritance for his children’s children.

What can you say to fathers based on that Scripture about leaving Legacy.

Leaving Inheritance for your children – So what is the correlation between fatherhood and finance, like money, asset and all of those things? What is the correlation between a father and finance?

Are they together? Are they separated?

Is money not needed for a father to be able to to what he is doing well? What can you say to us about that Scripture sir?

REV. SAM ADEYEMI’S RESPONSE (6)

Fatherhood and Finance

You know generally, like I said earlier on; fathers leave Legacy.

That is what Proverbs 13:22 tells us – Leaving an inheritance.

When you have the blessings of Abraham on you, Inheritance for you actually goes beyond money.

Inheritance goes to first your “Covenant with God” – That is the one thing that can best guarantee God will be with your children when you are gone.

I usually draw this illustration from Genesis 26.

In Genesis 13 there was a famine. End of Gen 12 and 13; there was a famine.

And Abraham went down to Egypt, he Prospered there.

When Abraham was dying he gave everything he had to Isaac.

Genesis 26 – There was another famine and the Bible states it clearly that it was different from the one in the days of Abraham.

Isaac was about to do exactly what his father did – He was going down to Egypt when God told him to stop in Philistine.

To stop at Gerar and God told him just obey my voice.

Your father obeyed me and because of that he was blessed – I am blessing him.

Just stay here, he did.

That is why we read later in the Passage that he sowed in that land that same Year and that he reap one hundred (100) folds.

So, even though the famine wiped out the material wealth that his father gave him, the famine can never wipe out the Covenant.

It can never wiped out the Promise.

God blessed Isaac, he Prospered him just like his father.

Remember there was another famine in the days of Joseph and Jacob together.

And that it was Joseph (Great grandson of Abraham) that saved Practically the whole world from that famine.

Father, first let your finances be built on the Covenant you have with God – It won’t fail you.

If you obey His commandments He is going to bless you, He is going to Prosper you.

Make sure your children also have that Covenant with God.

And then like the Bible says: As God Prospered you, you are going to have a Plan.

Give them the basic education you can.

Sincerely, that is more important than Material Wealth because not all of us are going to live very long.

Dying at ninety five (95), maybe your children are in their sixty’s (60’s), what do they want to do with your money when they already have children, grandchildren and they are Prosperous.

So, you want to give them good foundation, a good education, skills so they can Prosper on their own and Solid Values.

So, that is why the wealth is actually built for the children’s children.

TOLU ALABI’S RESPONSE TO QUESTION 6 ANSWERED (BY REV. SAM ADEYEMI)

That was powerful, wow!

Thank you so much sir. Yes!, the children’s children, most times we just kind of think that yes! We got to make all the money.

That was Profound sir – Giving Good education, doing what you can do today. it not about not careful today and then you are like I am investing against tomorrow.

I think tomorrow starts from today – Based on what you have said sir.

Tomorrow actually starts from today. Give Good education, give Values. It is not only about finance. It is not only about money – It is actually the Value that you give.

That is why you have to be there for your children because if you are absent or abusive, how do you build Values?

Even if you are a single dad or your children are somewhere else, maybe with your ex or something. You should also be able to get involve in their life and give them Good Values.

CONCLUSION BY TOLU ALABI

Thank you so much sir.

That was really amazing and so those are the questions I’m asking you today sir.

But there is something very important; I really want you to do.

Sir, Please I want you to Pray for all our fathers.

There is something that you always say to me, you say: The Grace that have worked for me, will come for you.

And I have been seeing that Grace in my life.

I want you to Pray as a father, as a Man of God, as a Prophet in this Generation.

I want you to say a Word of Prayer for everyone that is watching or reading now on the Label of DMC.

REV. SAM ADEYEMI PRAYS FOR EVERYONE

I Pray in Jesus Name for every father, Grace, Wisdom, the Power of God, Spiritual Authority to displace territorial spirit, take over territories.

The blessings of Abraham that I call father of many Nations and I declare on your Seed, the families of the Earth will be blessed.

No one that comes from your lineage will be a liability in this world. They will be asset in Jesus Name – Amen.

TOLU ALABI WORDS OF APPRECIATIONS

Thank you very much sir.

That was amazing. I am really honoured to have you and so everyone that is watching or that have listened to you or reading now on the Label of DMC.

You are a Man of God that is highly respected.

And so we appreciate you.

I believe we are going to be having you at some Point.

Thank you so much sir.

And our greetings to your beautiful wife: Pastor (Mrs) Adenike Adeyemi – She is a wonderful Woman of God and to your lovely children, we really appreciate you sir.

Thank you so much for coming, we look forward to having you again.

Thank you.

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